I Know Dave [attel] And We're Friendly,

I Don't Want To Do 20 Minutes On Donald Trump. I Want To Do 10 Minutes And Move On. I Wouldn't Even Do That With A Live Show, Because I Don't Want It To Feel Like "an Evening Of Political Comedy."

I Hate Bumper Stickers, You Can't Sum Anything Up. All You Do Is Paint Yourself In Some Caricaturist Corner.

There Is Nothing Interesting About Just Seeing Me Doing The Show Then Seeing The Fans And How Much People Love Me.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.

A Verbose, Prosaic Review Which Mentions Whistling Winds And The Timeless Feeling Of Jade Doesn't Mean Anything To Me; I Don't Need A Novella Telling Me About How An Album Is Like A Fine Meal.