As Far As Just My Stand-up Is

If People Disagree With Me And Want To Articulate It, That's Not Only Their Right But Almost Their Obligation.

What President Of The Airline Is Doing Is, He's Urging Everyone To Give Up Their Frequent Flyer Miles For Sick Kids... But As I Was Reading This, There Were Two Empty Seats Next To Me. Why Can't Sick Kids Sit There? If They're So Concerned With Sick Kids, Shouldn't They Have Like A Pen Of Sick Kids Next To The Gate?

You Cannot Win A War On Terrorism. It's Like Having A War On Jealousy.

Because You've Been On Dates Where Y'know, You Forget To Open Your Eyes And Wear Pants And Speak English.

In My Political Philosophy - Which Is Definitely More Socialist Democrat Than Centrist Politician Like Hillary Clinton - I Think Regulation For Banks And Those Platforms That Bernie Sanders Had Are Good For The Whole Of America.