I Killed A Squirrel Once With A

I'm A Realist All The Way. I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist. But I've Lived Too Much Of A Charmed Life So Far To Ever Be A Pessimist.

My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be A Better Person... So I Can Get A Better Girlfriend.

You Know How Everybody Has That One Weird Creepy Uncle? Well, Seth Green Looks Like He Got Raped By All Of Them.

I Got Into Comedy Because I Wanted To Get Into Writing.

My Neighbor Complains Every Time My Girlfriend And I Have Sex. We're Not Even That Loud. But He Used To Date My Girlfriend.