I Just Want To Be A Professional.

Had I Been Brighter, The Ladies Been Gentler, The Scotch Been Weaker, Had The Gods Been Kinder, Had The Dice Been Hotter, This Could Have Been A One-sentence Story: Once Upon A Time I Lived Happily Ever After.

It's Confusing. I've Had So Many Wives And So Many Children I Don't Know Which House To Go To First On Christmas.

A Lot Of People Have Asked Me How Short I Am. Since My Last Divorce, I Think I'm About $100,000 Short.

You Always Pass Failure On The Way To Success.

There Were Times When I Was Broke, When I Was Down In Florida And I Had To Go To Cocktail Parties For 500 Bucks - To See The Guy That Used To Be In Pictures. I'm Not Ashamed Of That. I've Never Done Anything That I Was Ashamed Of. I've Done A Lot Of Things I Didn't Mean To Do.