Quiet Down, We Don't Want To Wake

It Was So Cold In New York City Today That The Statue Of Liberty Had Her Torch Under Her Dress.

I Like That Sarah Palin. She Looks Like The Flight Attendant Who Won't Give You A Second Can Of Pepsi ... She Looks Like The Nurse Who Weighs You And Then Makes You Sit Alone In Your Underwear For 20 Minutes ... She Looks Like A Real Estate Agent Whose Picture You See On The Bus Stop Bench ... She Looks Like The Hygienist Who Makes You Feel Guilty About Not Flossing ... She Looks Like The Relieved Mom In A Tide Commercial.

Donald Trump Is Talking About Running For President. He Hasn't Made An Announcement, But I Want To Tell You Something. The Fake Suspense Is Killing Me.

New Orleans: The Least Annoying French Place On Earth.

Insiders Say That Trump Is Running For President As A Publicity Stunt. That's Not The Donald Trump I Know.