Quiet Down, We Don't Want To Wake

Doritos-flavored Mountain Dew Is Coming. You Drink It, You Get A Combination Of Type 1 And Type 2 Diabetes.

New York... When Civilization Falls Apart, Remember, We Were Way Ahead Of You.

Traffic Signals In New York Are Just Rough Guidelines.

This Isn't Brain Surgery; It's Just Television.

New York City Has 2 Million Rats. We Used To Have 8 Million Rats. Now We're Down To 2 Million. You Know What That Means? We Lose Four Electoral Votes.