I Have Many Favorite Artists...van Gough As

Wives Live Longer Than Husbands Because They're Not Married To Women.

My Most Important Professional Accomplishment To Date Is The Ability To Keep Working With Absolutely No Skills Whatsoever.

Our Top Story Tonight: Famous Tv Dolphin Flipper Was Arrested Today On Prostitution Ring Charges. He Allegedly Was Seen Transporting Two 16 Year Olds Across State Line For Immoral Porpoises.

Rudolf The Red-nosed Reindeer, Dead At 53. Over Barcelona Today, The Famed Reindeer Was Hit By A Flock Of Seagulls And A 747. Eyewitnesses Report, That The Reindeer In Spain Was Hit Mainly By The Plane.

I Believe It Was Shakespeare Who Said, 'all The World's A Stage, And You Are Crap!'