I Have Just One Day, Today, And

Given The Choice Between A Woman And A Cigar, I Will Always Choose The Cigar.

One Of The Best Hearing Aids A Man Can Have Is An Attentive Wife.

I Read In The Newspapers They Are Going To Have 30 Minutes Of Intellectual Stuff On Television Every Monday From 7:30 To 8. To Educate America. They Couldn't Educate America If They Started At 6:30.

Well, Art Is Art, Isn't It? Still, On The Other Hand, Water Is Water.

I'm Going To Iowa For An Award. Then I'm Appearing At Carnegie Hall, It's Sold Out. Then I'm Sailing To France To Be Honored By The French Government - I'd Give It All Up For One Erection.