I Have Flabby Thighs, But Fortunately My

She's So Fat, She's My Two Best Friends.

"i've Learned What's Funny Verbally Ain't So Funny On E-mail: They Don't Hear Your Intonations. Melissa Broke Up With Somebody Over That. She Tried To Tell Him: "that Was A Joke!" But He Just Didn't Get It. Mick Jagger Said, "f- 'em If They Don't Get The Joke." And I Love Him. That Comes With Age: Knowing It's Their Problem, Not Mine."

When A Man Has A Birthday, He Takes A Day Off. When A Woman Has A Birthday, She Takes At Least Three Years Off.

I Love The Way My Life Has Fallen Into Place.

Show Business Can Be An Addiction. ... An Audience Would Laugh At Me One Night, And I Would Chase That High For Another Three Months.