I Have Flabby Thighs, But Fortunately My

I've Learned: When You Get Older, Who Cares? I Don't Mince Words, I Don't Hold Back. What Are You Gonna Do To Me? Fire Me? It's Been Done. Threaten To Commit Suicide? Done. Take Away My Show? Done! Not Invite To Me To The Vanity Fair Party? I've Never Been Invited! If I Ever Saw The Invitation, I'd Use It As Toilet Paper.

At My Funeral, I Want Meryl Streep Crying In Five Different Accents.

Happiness, At My Age, Is Breathing

Whatever You Do To Recover From A Loss, People Will Be Critical Because They Believe That The Only Way To Recover Is Their Way. And You Will Even Run Into Some People Who Should Be Run Into By Rhinos Because They Actually Don't Want To See You Get Over Your Tragedy At All; Grief Is A Spectator Sport For Them.

I Don't Think I'm Good In Bed. My Husband Never Said Anything, But After We Made Love He'd Take A Piece Of Chalk And Outline My Body.