I Have Dogs In My House And

[there's] A Joke That I've Done Forever: 'nowadays They Say That The Largest Majority Of People Will Be Latino And You'll Tell Scary Stories To Your Grandkids: "a Long Time Ago When I Was Growing Up, There Used To Be People Who Were White," And The Kid Says, "really?" And You Say, "yeah, Like The Man Who Cuts Our Grass."' I've Had That Line Forever And I Love It.

My Wife Gave Me A Book Before We Got Married, Oh, The Places You'll Go!, By Dr. Seuss. She Was Trying To Tell Me Something, About What I Was Capable Of, But I Didn't Get It. Over Time, I've Sort Of Lived The Message In That Book, And I Couldn't Have Without What Golf Taught Me. So I Put It In My Bag While I Played The Old Course, And On The Last Hole When I Posed On The Swilcan Bridge, I Held It Up.

It's Good To See People Not Smoking. You Get Dressed Up, And You Smoke, And It Gets In Your Clothes. You Go, 'what Should I Wear Tonight?' 'i Don't Know, Honey, How About Something Menthol?'

We're Mexi-cans Not Mexi-can'ts.

The Average Late-night Viewer Is In Their Mid-50s And The Average Viewer Of Tbs Is In Their 30s And Is Largely African-american And Hispanic, Already, Before I Even Get There.