I Have A Well-documented History Of Trouble

I Never Really Thought Of Myself As A Physical Comedian. But When I Was A Kid, I Used To, You Know, Pretend To Trip Over Things To Make Girls Laugh In School And Stuff Like That. So I Kind Of Learned How To Fall Without Hurting Yourself.

I Gravitate Towards Sort Of Broken Characters Who Try To Be Better People.

I've Been Accused Of Not Really Paying Attention To A Sentence Unless My Name Comes Up In It Twice.

I Used To Spend A Lot Of Time Just Thinking About Myself, Thinking That The Party Started When I Showed Up.

So I'm Reading A Book On My New Ipad, But Can't The Ipad Read It For Me? Do I Have To Do Everything?