To Remove All Credibility From What You're

When A Couch Potato Is Sliced Up And Then Deep Fried That Is Couch French Fries.

A Mobile Home With A Flat Tire Is A Home.

I Think The Best Thing About Being Dumb Is That It Makes Magic A Lot Better. Where The Hell Did That Rat Come From? I Dunno, But I'm Calling The Cops Because He Just Cut That Lady In Half.

But Long Story Short, I Didn't Start Doing Stand-up Because I Wanted To Have A Tv Show Or Be An Actor Or Even Wanted To Write Sketch Comedy. I Got Into Stand-up Because I Love Stand-up.

Count Your Blessings, But Not Out-loud, At The Top Of Your Lungs.