I Have A Couple Of 'doing Caps'

I'm An Optimist - I Feel Like An Amazing Part Of Life Is That At Any Moment.

A Lot Of People My Age Think Stand Up Sucks.

Do It Under The Influence Yourself! That's What We're Shooting For! Get Drunk And Make Your Dreams Come True.

Most People Would Say 'the Deets', But I Say 'the Tails'. Just Another Example Of Innovation.

I Went To A Place Recently I Think Is One Of The Most F**ked Up Places I've Ever Been To. I'm Convinced This Place Is The Epitome Of American Excess, Of American Greed. I'm Talking About A Place Called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If You Have Not Been There, The Basic Gist Of Cold Stone Is That They Take Ice Cream And Then They Just Go Ape Sh*t With It.