Others Fear What The Morrow May Bring.

What If I Couldn't Read? I Wouldn't Be Able To Text My Friends Movie Times Or Even Order Cheese Biscuits From Red Lobster!

I Have An Amazing Metabolism. I'm Sure That'll Be Gone One Day. But I Like To Exercise, Too, So I Don't Think I'll Ever Get Really Fat.

Writing Your Own Jokes, You Just Kind Of Keep Working On Something Until You Think It Might Work, And Then You Try It Out And Hope For The Best.

With Stand-up, It's More Interesting To Hear About People's Failures Than Their Successes.

Once You Become A Comedian, You Accept That People Are Just Going To Yell Stuff At You.