I Have A Couple Of 'doing Caps'

The Problem Is There's A New Group. I'm Talking About This Tiny Slice Of People That Have Gotten Way Too Fired Up About The Trump Thing For The Wrong Reasons. I'm Talking About These People That As Soon As Trump Won, They're Like, We Don't Have To Pretend Like We're Not Racist Anymore. We Don't Have To Pretend Anymore. We Can Be Racist Again. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, No, No. If You're One Of These People, Please Go Back To Pretending.

My Dad Grew Up Basically In A Hut In Taiwan Without Enough Food To Eat. And Within One Generation His Son In America Gets To Do A Comedy Show About Whatever He Wants.

Regardless Of Your Ethnicity Or Anything, If You Do Great Work, People Will Notice And You'll Get Hired.

What's Cool About Twitter Is That You Can Make A Joke About Something Very Of-the-moment Or Random That I Wouldn't Be Able To Joke About In Stand-up.

I Always Hate Telling My Jokes In Print 'cause I Always Feel Like It Reads So Not Funny And People Read It And They Think, 'oh, So That's What That Guy Does In His Stand-up? That's Terrible.'