I Hate Fame. I Hate Being Recognized,

Man, Them Engagement Rings, Boy, They Cost A Lot. I Was Looking At 'em. Cost Like A Thousand Bucks, Two Thousand Bucks, Y'know. Three Thousand Bucks. Something Like That- Four Thousand Bucks. Big Number Divisible By A Thousand, Anyways.

I Generally Have A Real Strong Idea Or A Strong Punchline, And I Just Try To Get To It By Rambling Around, As I Don't Like To Memorize Words.

If You're Looking For The Suspect In A Suicide Bombing, Here's A Clue: Look For The Dead Guy.

When I Started In Canada, I Just Did Stand-up.

The Only Two Tv Shows I Saw Do That, Where They Don't Warm Them Up And You Can Really Bomb, Was Saturday Night Live - And That's Why It Gets A Lot Of Heat, Too. Obviously It Gets Criticism Fairly, Too. But A Lot Of It Is Because Lorne [michaels] Lets The Audience Decide And Doesn't Force Them To Laugh.