The Promises We Break Are Usually Such

I Don't Have To Meet Actors. I'm Really Blessed That I Don't Have To Do All That Horseshit.

If You're Watching A Comedian On Television And He's Making A Political Point, I Would Say He's Gotten Too Serious.

I'm Not Original, But I Strive Toward It As Much As Possible. I Tried Really Hard On Weekend Update To Do Something That I Considered Original, Which Was, I Tried To Cut All Cleverness Out Of The Joke.

On Update, The Only Real Original Thing Was Trying To Take Away The Cleverness Of The Punchline And Make It As Blunt As Possible.

I'm No Good At Anything But Comedy, Which I Think I'm Good At. I'm Absolutely No Good At Networking; I'm Terrible At Acting; I'm Terrible At Dealing With Executives; I'm Terrible At Collaborating. And I Say Whatever I Want To Say. But I Think I'm Good Enough At Comedy That I Can Survive. And I Don't Really Have An Ambition For Money.