The Promises We Break Are Usually Such

Some Men Mistake Generosity For Charity: These Flatter Themselves That They Are Giving Gratuitously, Whilst They Are Merely Rewarding Secret Services Offered Their Vanity.

Never Raise Expectations In Others That You Cannot Realize: Promise Is Less Pleasing Than Disappointment Is Vexatious.

Back In The Old Days, A Man Could Just Get Sick And Die. Now They Have To Wage A Battle. So My Uncle Bert Is Waging A Courageous Battle, Which I've Seen, Because I Go And Visit Him. And This Is The Battle: He's Lying In The Hospital Bed, With A Thing In His Arm, Watching Matlock On The Tv.

You Ever Hear Guys With Small Cocks Talk About Sex? Can't Talk About It Enough. They Even Got Poems. They'll Say, 'it's Not The Motion Of The Ocean, It's The Boat Of The Lotion.' I've Even Heard Variants..., It's Not The Tree Or The Size, It's The Axe That You Wax.' It's A Whole Sub-genre Of Poetry Now That's Taught In Many Of Our Finer Institutions.

A Great Cause Of Evil In The World Is That Men Seldom Think Themselves Criminal If They Offer The Same Injustice To Others That Has Been Successfully Practiced On Themselves.