I Had A Gun And I Had

God Invented Mankind Because He Loved Silly Stories. Ralph Steadman I Like Being Absurd.

I Saw That On Small Business Saturday, The President Went Shopping At A Bookstore And Bought 17 Books, Including "the Laughing Monsters," "being Mortal," And "heart Of Darkness." Or As The Cashier Put It, "you Ok, Man? Maybe A Little 'chicken Soup For The Presidential Soul?'

There Are Reports That If Joe Biden Runs For President, He Would Promise To Serve For Only One Term - Because Nothing Says Confidence Like Promising Your Presidency Would Be Over Quickly.

An Internet Rumor Claims That John Kerry Had An Affair With A Young Woman. When Asked If This Was Similar To The Clinton-lewinsky Scandal, A Spokesman Said 'close, But No Cigar.'

Yesterday The Ceo Of Citigroup Said That He Can Understand Why All These Occupy Wall Street Protesters Are So Frustrated. In Fact, He Felt So Bad For Them, He Gave Himself A $10 Million Sympathy Bonus.