Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny.

In Several Speeches And Interviews, Donald Trump Has Brought Up His Book 'the Art Of The Deal,' And Said That Obama Would Have Negotiated A Better Deal With Iran If He Had Read It. It Got Even More Awkward For Obama When Iran Was Like, 'it Worked For Us - You Guys Got Screwed!'

The Senate Has Passed A New Bill That Requires Tv Stations To Lower The Volume Level On Commercials. This Is Great, A Hundred Of The Most Powerful People In The Nation Have Managed To Do The Same Thing My Remote Does.

Here's A Little Bit Of Good News. The Coast Guard Says That Bp Is Now Catching Up To 630,000 Gallons Of Oil A Day. The Bad News Is That They're Capturing It With Ducks.

I Never Sing In The Shower. It's Very Dangerous.

Nasa Is Developing Space Taxis To Shuttle Astronauts To The International Space Station. And Just Like New York Taxis, They're All Going To Be Driven By Aliens.