I Can't Believe There Are So Many

This Morning My Dad Called Me Up And Said, 'so, Tonight's Your Last Show, Huh.' And I Said, 'no, Dad, That's Someone Else.'

We Have First Lady Michelle Obama On The Show Tonight. As You'd Expect, Security's Been Pretty Tight. On My Way In I Got Five Pat-downs, And That Was Just From Joe Biden.

There Are Reports That Russia Is Actually Working With North Korea To Encourage “collaboration And Cooperation” Between The Two Countries. Yeah, They Believe That With Russia's Economic Power And North Korea's Technology, They Can Be A Real Threat To 1987.

At A Recent Education Summit, President Obama Admitted That He Can't Rap. When They Heard, Americans Said, 'good!'

Thank You, Yard Sales, For Being The Perfect Way To Say To Your Neighbors: We Think We're Important Enough To Charge Money For Our Garbage.