I Got Married. My Wife Changed Her

It's Like In Most Parts Of America, Where There Was Industry And There Is No Longer; There Is Cynicism Mixed With Sarcasm And Some Optimism. That's How My Background Influenced My Comedy.

Now The Thanksgiving Meal Is Just So Unnecessarily Difficult. I Mean Even Mashed Potatoes - It's Like The Most Difficult Kind Of, You Know, Medieval Idea. All Right, Instead Of Just Cooking Them, Why Don't You Spend, Like, Eight Hours Peeling Them And Then We'll Have To Mash Them Up. It Feels Like Prison Labor, Really.

I've Been Doing Stand-up For So Long, I Think 19 Years, That I Love Topics I Can Also Expand On. Once I Identify A Topic Like, Say, Seafood, Which Is A Big One Right Now, It's Like There Are Different Kinds Of Tangents I Can Go On To Build A Larger Chunk.

I Saw This College Team Bowling Championship. Each Team Had Their Own Coach. What Kind Of Strategy Advice Is A Bowling Coach Giving? "you Know What? This Time Timmy, I Want You To Knock Down All The Pins." "you Sure?" "trust Me. Just Do It Son!"

I Think When My Mother Died, It Was Such A - You Know, A Shock To The Logic That I Had Been Raised With.