I Got Into Comedy So I Could

By The Time I Am Howard's Age I Hope To Be Long Retired. I Don't Plan On Working That Long.

Howard's Unbelievably Nutty, Politically Incorrect Style Is Probably The Single Biggest Influence On Me.

A-rod Wants To Be Like Babe Ruth. And People Don't Realize This, He's A Lot Like Babe Ruth. Before The Playoffs A Couple Of Years Ago, A-rod Went To The Hospital And Promised A Dying Kid He'd Ground Out To Second For Him.

In Hollywood, There Is Another Name For A Woman's 40th Birthday Party, It's A Retirement Party.

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.