I Got Into Comedy So I Could

Artie Is Going To Do What Ever Artie Wants To Do.

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.

I Used To Be A Longshoreman. I Didn't Go To College. I Have A Voice That When I Say Something, It Can Sound Way Meaner Than You Think It Is.

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.