I Got Into Comedy So I Could

I Ain't Apologizing For Anything, Especially If It's A Joke.

When You're On The Road A Lot, You're In Perpetual Search Of A Good Night's Sleep.

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.

A-rod Wants To Be Like Babe Ruth. And People Don't Realize This, He's A Lot Like Babe Ruth. Before The Playoffs A Couple Of Years Ago, A-rod Went To The Hospital And Promised A Dying Kid He'd Ground Out To Second For Him.

By The Time I Am Howard's Age I Hope To Be Long Retired. I Don't Plan On Working That Long.