I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home,

It's Weird... People Say They're Not Like Apes. Now How Do You Explain Football Then?

I Think Foosball Is A Combination Of Soccer And Shish Kabobs.

I'm An Ice Sculptor. Last Night I Made A Cube.

People On The 14th Floor, You Know What Floor You’re Really On.

I`ve Not Really Been Angling To Be A Comedian. I Knew Comics And I Loved Them And I Loved Being Funny, But I Didn't Understand The Whole Concept Of Becoming One. My First Couple Of Times On Stage, I Was Like, "this Is What I'm Doing For Sure." I Was So Excited.