I Got A Smoke Alarm At Home,

I Spilled Some Vodka On The Carpet, And I Vacuumed It Up, And The Vacuum Got Drunk. I Had To Take The Hoover To Detox.

Every Book Is A Children's Book If The Kid Can Read!

The Customer’s Always Right.

I Like Baked Potatoes. I Don't Have A Microwave Oven, And It Takes Forever To Bake A Potato In A Conventional Oven. Sometimes I'll Just Throw One In There, Even If I Don't Want One, Because By The Time It's Done, Who Knows?

Do You Think I Am Standing Here, Making This Up As I Go? I Am Sorry To Disillusion You. I Am Not Robin Williams. I Am The King Of The Pen.