I Hate It When My Hair Is

It Is My Wish To Die Of Unique Causes, Perhaps In A High-speed Tricycle Crash, A Bizarre Stapling Incient, Or As A Result Of Inadvertently Sucking My Brains Out Through My Ear While Trying To Untwist The Vacuum Hose.

I Mean, I Do Love Clever And Witty, But I Think That The 'three Stooges' Were Geniuses. They'd Have To Be For Their Appeal To Have Lasted This Long.

Speaking Of Happy Successes, After Years Of Struggling To Lose Those Few Extra Pounds Every Mother Puts On During Adoption, Particularly When The Doctor Orders Bed Rest, In 2004 I Sent My Assistant To The Gap In Dark Glasses With A Fake Id To Purchase My First Pair Of Easy Fit Jeans.

I Talk To A Lot Of Librarians, And There's Always A Steady Drumbeat Of How Libraries Are Places Of Community. But A Lot Of Them Have Also Recently - And Just In The Nick Of Time - Refurbished, Because During This Economic Downturn, People Have A Tendency To Borrow Instead Of Buy.

It's Funny That We Think Of Libraries As Quiet Demure Places Where We Are Shushed By Dusty, Bun-balancing, Bespectacled Women. The Truth Is Libraries Are Raucous Clubhouses For Free Speech, Controversy And Community. Librarians Have Stood Up To The Patriot Act, Sat Down With Noisy Toddlers And Reached Out To Illiterate Adults. Libraries Can Never Be Shushed.