I Get A Phone Call Once Every

When I Was Young, All The Politicians Looked Like Ancient Latin Teachers Or Greengrocers. They Were Mumbly, Stumbly Men With Their Hair Blowing In Their Eyes, Walking Into Trees, Opening The Wrong Door. They Had No Idea How To Present Themselves.

I Do Pauses, Pauses Work For Me

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

I'm Fascinated By How You'll Change Your Position So Many Times Over A Lifetime, But Really What You're Doing Is Occupying A Series Of Positions On A Landscape.

When Did You Ever Hear Of A Child Not In Need? 'oh That's Enough Jam Tart For Me, I'll Just Go Now And Clean The Toilets.'