I Found A Way For Her To

And Now It Looks Like I'm Probably Going To Shoot A Movie That I Wrote. I Got The Money To Do It, And I Would Star And All, Because Of Being On Howard.

I Had A Career Before The Stern Show, On Mad Tv. I Was On The First Two Seasons Of That And I Got Kicked Off It Because Of Possession Of Cocaine.

My Mother Would Say, Before I Left The House, 'remember Art, Hugs Are Better Than Drugs.' And I Believed My Mother, I Believed Everything She Said - Until The First Time I Got High At A Party. I Leaned Back, And I Went, 'god, This Is Way Better Than When My Uncle Perry Hugs Me. What Else Has My Mother Been Lying To Me About?

If Mike Tyson Was The Voice Of Your Gps, Would You Ever Not Use It?

Comedians, We're Just People Who Whine. But We Happen To Be Funny When We Whine.