Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem

My Mother Would Say, Before I Left The House, 'remember Art, Hugs Are Better Than Drugs.' And I Believed My Mother, I Believed Everything She Said - Until The First Time I Got High At A Party. I Leaned Back, And I Went, 'god, This Is Way Better Than When My Uncle Perry Hugs Me. What Else Has My Mother Been Lying To Me About?

Whiskey Will Always Be A Part Of My Life.

When Political Correctness First Started Coming Around, It Ruined Andrew Dice Clay And Eddie Murphy's Stand-up Career. Sam Kinison Died At Just The Right Time, 'cause No One Was Going To Tolerate What He Was Saying Anymore Either.

At The Mirage Sportsbook, You Can Get A Line On 2 Kid Playing Wiffleball In The Backyard In Minnesota

You Know How Screwed Up Censorship Is, Two Girls Just Agreed To Make Out Naked In Front Of Their Fathers, And We Went Wait, Don't Curse.