Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem

Have You Ever Googled Yourself? I Did, Most Depressing Thing Ever. People Have Websites Hoping I Die At 38.

I Once Dealt With A Prima Donna On A Movie Set. I Won't Say Who, But His First Name Is A Country. A Communist Country. Run By Fidel Castro.

I Snorted Heroin Once By Accident. It Was Amazing. But Kids, Don't Snort Heroin. It's Too Good.

The Only Reason I Can't Recommend Heroin To Kids Is Because The Effects Wear Off.

I Have Gay Friends, I Support Gay Rights, I Have Nothing Against The Gay Community, But When I See Two Guys Kissing, I Think It's Gross. And, By The Way, It's Gross When 99% Of Straight People Do It, Too.