I Don't Think I'm Good In Bed.

A Child Can Be Taught Not To Do Certain Things, Such As Touch A Hot Stove, Pull Lamps Off Of Tables, And Wake Mommy Before Noon.

I Hate Mcdonald's. I Don't Want To Order My Dinner By Yelling Into A Clown's Mouth. If I Want My Face In A Clown's Mouth, I'll Tongue Kiss Glenn Beck.

At My Age An Affair Of The Heart Is A Bypass!

Don't Talk To Me About Gravity. When I Get Out Of Bed In The Morning, I Have To Be Careful Not To Step On My Breasts.

I've Learned From Doing My Own Show With Fox That People Are Not Your Partners If They're Signing The Checks. Whoever Signs Your Paycheck Is The Boss - No Matter What They Tell You.