Life Is Very Tough. If You Don't

Comedy - And I Say This With Humility - Comedy Needs Me.

Yeah, I Read History. But It Doesn't Make You Nice. Hitler Read History, Too.

There Is Not One Female Comic Who Was Beautiful As A Little Girl.

I Hate Housework! You Make The Beds, You Do The Dishes And Six Months Later You Have To Start All Over Again.

[on Plastic Surgery:] My Motto Is: 'anything That Can Be Lifted Should Be Lifted. Anything That Falls Should Be Caught. And Try To Catch Any Falling Stuff Before It Hits The Ground.