I Don't Think I'm A Star Or

Friends Are Important, Dontcha Think? Hmmm? I Think So. The Way I See It, You Got Friends, And You Got Your Best Friend, Big Difference. To Me, A Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move. A Best Friend's A Guy Who Will Help You Move A Body. That's How I Look At It.

Every Dude In Here Has Had A Fantasy About Jessica Simpson. Here's Mine: Jessica, Hold Your Sister Ashlee So I Can Kick Her In The Throat.

A Lot Of These Kids I Think Are More Content Just To Be On Facebook And The Computer Than They Are To Actually Go Out. They Just Really Want To Get A Picture To Post To Their Buddies, And That's About It.

Sometimes. I Get Recognized, But I'm Not Really A Famous Famous. I'm Pretty Low On The Showbiz Totem Pole - I Mean, I'm No Jon Or Kate Plus Eight. I'm Just A Comic, Not A Baby Factory.

I Watch The Discovery Channel, And You Know What I've Discovered? I Need A Girlfriend.