I Don't See Myself As Offending People.

I Used To Buy Lottery Tickets Every Week Until I Realised You Could Watch It On Tv For Nothing.

I Think That Comedians, More Than Any Other Type Of Celebrity, Have To Keep Their Humour And Keep Their Feet On The Ground. If They Start Taking Themselves Too Seriously, They're Heading For A Fall.

My Dad's Dying Wish Was To Have His Family Around Him. I Can't Help Thinking He Would Have Been Better Off With More Oxygen.

I Do Realise That When I Laugh, It Sounds Like A Seal Is Being Molested.

If I'm At Home For The Weekend - And That Is Almost Never - I Tend To Get Twitchy At About Eight O'clock In The Evening Because My Body Clock Is Timed To Go On Stage. I Don't Know What To Do With Myself.