I Don't Know How I Got Over

A Comedian Can Only Last Till He Either Takes Himself Serious Or His Audience Takes Him Serious.

When I Die, I Want To Die Like My Grandfather Who Died Peacefully In His Sleep. Not Screaming Like All The Passengers In His Car.

You've Never In Your Life Seen A Picture, I Bet Any One Of You, Never Seen A Picture Of One Of These Old Pilgrims Praying When They Didn't Have A Gun Right By The Side Of Them. That Was To See That He Got What He Was Praying For.

Never Miss A Chance To Shut Up

I Never Took A Human Life, I Only Sold The Fellow The Gun To Take It With.