I Don't Have To Write Jokes. I

That's A Horrible Thought. I Guess Cheese Or Wine. I Think I Might Be Too Depressed To Eat If I Had To Eat Only One Thing For The Rest Of My Life.

If You Want To Look At The State Of Humans, You Should Look At The State Of Animals First. People Are Choosing Whether Or Not They Can Feed An Animal And Their Family. And Every Shelter Coast-to-coast Is Stuffed.

It Only Looks Like I Get To Eat A Lot Of Food On Tv. I Really Just Get The One Bite And The Crew And Guests Eat Everything Else.

Television Itself Is An Intimate Medium. It's In Your House. You're Visiting With These People... Not Everybody's Going To Like It, Just Like Not Everybody Likes Everybody On The Playground. I Mean, That's Life - Especially If Your Job Is To Just Go Out There And Be Yourself.

I Like Feeling Like An Ox At The End Of The Day. I Like Working Hard.