I Don't Have To Look Up My

After Quitting Radio I Was Able To Live On The Money I Saved On Aspirins.

Success Is Like Dealing With Your Kid Or Teaching Your Wife To Drive. Sooner Or Later You'll End Up In The Police Station.

The Average Girl Would Rather Have Beauty Than Brains Because She Knows The Average Man Can See Much Better Than He Can Think- Ladies' Home Journali'd Rather Have Two Girls At Seventeen Than One At Thirty-four

I Learned Law So Well, The Day I Graduated I Sued The College, Won The Case, And Got My Tuition Back.

Her Hat Is A Creation That Will Never Go Out Of Style; It Will Just Look Ridiculous Year After Year.