I Don't Have Hobbies; Hobbies Cost Money.

I Thought About How Mothers Feed Their Babies With Tiny Little Spoons And Forks So I Wondered, What Do Chinese Mothers Use? Toothpicks?

A Lot Of The People Who Keep A Gun At Home For Safety Are The Same Ones Who Refuse To Wear A Seat Belt

Mcdonald's Breakfast For Under A Dollar Is Actually More Expensive Than That. You Have To Factor In The Cost Of Bypass Surgery.

Once The High Priests And The Traders Took Over, We Were Lost As A Species.

What I Became A Comedian For Was To Get My Art Out. To Get Some Of These Feelings And Things I Had On My Chest Out. I Don't Care If People Believe Them, Listen To Them, Change Their Ways, Or Think, Or Any Of That Kind Of Crap. I'm Interested In Showing Off. I'm The Same Kid From Sixth Grade Who Stood Up And Said "watch This."