I Couldn't Commit Suicide If My Life

I Think Of Shock As Kind Of An Uptown Form Of Surprise. Comedy Is Filled With Surprise, So When I Cross A Line... I Like To Find Out Where The Line Might Be And Then Cross It Deliberately, And Then Make The Audience Happy About Crossing The Line With Me.

I'm Thinking Of Buying A Church And Changing It Around: Maybe Selling Crack And Having A Few Whores In The Pew.

Somehow I Enjoy Watching People Suffer.

The Baby Boomers: Whiny, Narcissistic, Self-indulgent People With A Simple Philosophy: "gimme That! It's Mine!"

Engineers At General Motors Have Developed A Revolutionary New Engine Whose Only Function Is To Lubricate Itself.