And Even If You Get Shot By

Dude, I Didn't Say Jude Law Can't Act. I Didn't Say Jude Law Was In Bad Movies. I Just Said He's In Every Movie.

I'm Like The Hulk On Stage. It's Way Over The Top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I Get Off Stage And Go What Did I Say?! I'll Watch One Of My Stand-up Specials A Year Later And Go Eww, That Was Mean.

You Can't Have Anything Valuable In Your House. Niggers Will Break In And Take It All! Everything White People Don't Like About Black People, Black People Don't Like About Black People. It's Like Our Own Personal Civil War. On One Side, There's Black People. On The Other, You've Got Niggers. The Niggers Have Got To Go. I Love Black People, But I Hate Niggers. I Am Tired Of Niggers. Tired, Tired, Tired.

When You're Making A Real Documentary, You Shoot It And The Movie Happens. You Don't Make - This Sounds Corny - You Don't Make A Documentary, A Documentary Makes You. It Really Does.

Gun Control? We Need Bullet Control! I Think Every Bullet Should Cost 5,000 Dollars. Because If A Bullet Cost Five Thousand Dollar, We Wouldn't Have Any Innocent Bystanders.