I Do Feel I'm Kind Of A

I'm Always Listening And Watching; My Ear Is Like A Boom Mike. And Judging, Frankly. Constantly Judging.

Oh, I Constantly Say Things That I Regret. I Mortify Myself Constantly. But That's Just Part Of The Deal. I'm Not Really Sure What's Going To Come Out Of My Mouth.

I Am What You Call A Non-believer. I Don't Even Want To Say I'm An Atheist Because Frankly I Don't Want To Join Their Club Either. But The Point Is, I Am A Fallen Catholic, I'm Not Religious, And That's All Well And Good.

Remember, Folks, I Am A Comedian, Not A Journalist.

The Thing That Cracks Me Up Is How These Reality Characters Start Out Thrilled And Excited Just To Be On Television, And How They Move To Thinking They Are As Big As The Friends.