I Dish The Dirt Out And I

If You Go Through The Pearly Gates Backwards In A Fireball, That's A Cool Way To Die!

The Fact Is That Britain Is The Most Warlike Nation On Earth. In The History Of Armed Combat, We Are The Only Democracy To Have Declared War On Another Democracy - England Versus Finland In The Second World War, In Case You're Interested - And We're Always At The Front Of The Queue When Johnny Foreigner Gets A Bit Uppity. Who Stood Up To The Kaiser? Who Stood Up To Adolf? And Let's Not Forget The Argies. What Other Country Would Have Sent Its Fleet Halfway Round The World And Lost 250 Men To Protect A Flock Of Sheep And Some Oil That Might Or Might Not Be There? We're Still At It.

You Take Out An Injunction Against Somebody Or Some Organisation And Immediately News Of That Injunction And The People Involved And The Story Behind The Injunction Is In A Legal-free World On Twitter And The Internet. It's Pointless.

I Don't Understand Bus Lanes. Why Do Poor People Have To Get To Places Quicker Than I Do?

I Therefore Have To Use The Force. And Weirdly, This Doesn't Work Very Well. I Don't Understand Why, Because On The Last Census, I Put My Religion Down As Jedi Knight.