Usually, A Range Rover Would Be Beaten

Does Anyone Really Imagine For A Moment That My Wife Gives Two Stuffs About Global Warming? She Certainly Did Not Appear To Be All That Bothered On Thursday Evening When, During The Great Carbon-saving Switch-off, I Ran Round The House Furiously Turning On Every Light, Hair Dryer, Dishwasher And Toaster.

Ecologically Speaking, A Spilt Tanker Load Is Like Sticking A Safety Pin Into An Elephant's Foot. The Planet Barely Notices. After The Exxon Valdez Accident In Alaska The Oil Company Spent Billions Tidying Up The Coastline, But It Was A Waste Of Money Because The Waves Were Cleaning Up Faster Than Exxon Could. Environmentalists Can Never Accept The Planet's Ability To Self-heal.

Asking The Front Wheels Of A Car To Do Their Normal Job Of Steering While Handling More Than 170 Is Like Asking A Man To Wire A Plug While Juggling. Penguins. While Making Love. To A Beautiful Woman While On Fire, On Stage. In Front Of The Queen. It's All Going To Go Wrong.

If We Build Three Million New Houses By 2020, Where Will We Grow All The Stuff Needed To Feed The People Who Live In Them?

Boredom Forces You To Ring People You Haven’t Seen For Eighteen Years And Halfway Through The Conversation You Remember Why You Left It So Long. Boredom Means You Start To Read Not Only Mail-order Catalogues But Also The Advertising Inserts That Fall On The Floor. Boredom Gives You Half A Mind To Get A Gun And Go Berserk In The Local Shopping Centre, And You Know Where This Is Going. Eventually, Boredom Means You Will Take Up Golf.