I Couldn't Play Off People That I

One Of The First Things That You Learn As A Stand-up Is, You're The Boss. It's Your Stage, And Don't Screw With Me Because I'll Make You Look Bad, Which I Had To Do, Because You Wind Up With Drunks And Loud People.

I Think That What Comes Through In Chicago Humor Is The Affection. Even Though Youre Poking Fun At Someone Or Something, Theres Still An Affection For It.

You Should Have A Value System. You Can Win If You Stick With Your Value System.

All Comedians Are, In A Way, Anarchists. Our Job Is To Make Fun Of The Existing World.

I Still Feel Thirty, Except When I Try To Run.