Funny Is Funny Is Funny.

Don't Ever Have Two Dogs. That Way You Won't Know Which One To Blame.

Every New Routine I Have Ever Written And Performed Probably Occurred Extemporaneously. Then After You Have Fleshed It Out And Tried It Out In Front Of A Number Of Audiences And It Works, You Put It Down On Paper.

There Are A Lot Of Questions I Keep Asking Myself About Why I Do Comedy. I Guess I Laugh To Keep From Crying. And I Guess If You Ever Get Me Crying, I Might Not Stop. This Is The Way I Look At Tragedy Or Else I'll Cry.

The Only Thing I Have Never Done Is A Broadway Play. I'm Not Sure I Have The Discipline Necessary To Do A Broadway Play. I Know It Holds A Fascination For Certain Actors.

The Giant Superstars Are People Whose Talent Is So Enormous That Their Death Wish Can't Destroy It.