I Can't Get Past The Fact That

Younger Kids, They Understand That Things Aren't So Perfect With Their Father Or With Their Mother.

People Often Ask Me, "what's The Difference Between Couplehood And Babyhood?" In A Word? Moisture. Everything In My Life Is Now More Moist. Between Your Spittle, Your Diapers, Your Spit-up And Drool, You Got Your Baby Food, Your Wipes, Your Formula, Your Leaky Bottles, Sweaty Baby Backs, And Numerous Other Untraceable Sources-all Creating An Ever-present Moistness In My Life, Which Heretofore Was Mainly Dry.

We All Hold On To Some Image Of The Family We Want, Based One Way Or Another On The Family We Had. Lots Of People Are Thrilled About The Families They Came From, Others Couldn't Get Away Fast Enough. Most People Fall Into That Vast Middle Ground: Great Affection Mixed With A Few Ideas For Improvement. A Couple Of Things They Wish Could Have Perhaps Been Done Differently.

New Parents Always Sound Like Hucksters In A Pyramid Scheme. Anyone Who Has Kids And Then Gets You To Go And Have Kids Gets A Check From Huckster Headquarters.

Our Date-nightrule Is No Talking About The Kids. That Lasts About To The End Of The Driveway.