Just Because A Baby Cries, I Discovered,

I Always Loved Comedy, But I Never Knew It Was Something You Could Learn To Do. I Always Thought That Some People Are Born Comedians ... Just Like Some People Are Born Dentists.

There's Something That Happens In That Delivery Room, When A Woman Becomes Ten Times More A Woman, And A Guy Becomes Six Times Less A Man. You Feel Really Dopey And Useless And Like A Spectator. I Did, Anyway.

The First Time I Tried To Put A New Diaper On My Baby, I Yanked The Little Velcro Strap Too Jerkily And Actually Punched The Little Guy In The Jaw. A Real Solid Shot, Too. I Knew Instinctively That This Could Not Be Correct. Unless You're Specifically Trying To Raise A Welterweight, Continual Deliverance Of Powerful Uppercuts Is Not Advised When Handling Newborns.

But At The Same Time That The Experience Is Pulling You Apart, It's Also Bonding You. You Have This Joint Venture! You Both Made This Baby. And That's The Thing I Still Can't Get Over

If A Tree Falls On Your Head In A Forest And No One Hears It, It Still Hurts.