I Can't Get No Respect.

My Doctor Told Me To Watch My Drinking. Now I Drink In Front Of A Mirror.

I Drink Too Much, Way Too Much; My Doctor Drew Blood He Ran A Tab!

Once When I Was Lost I Asked A Policeman To Help Me Find My Parents. I Said To Him, 'do You Think We'll Ever Find Them?' He Answered, 'i Don't Know, Kid. There Are So Many Places They Can Hide.

I'm A Bisexual; I Get It Maybe Twice A Year.

I Tell Ya, My Wife Was Never Nice. On Our First Date, I Asked Her If I Could Give Her A Goodnight Kiss On The Cheek - She Bent Over!