I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake

My Belief Is That Guns Are Too Easy To Get In America. My Belief Is That The Nra Has Bought Much Of Our Congress, To The Point That Guns Are Actually The Only Unregulated Consumer Product In America. Think About That. It's Stunning.

I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake Sleep For 30 Years.

Now That The Court Has Declared Money To Be Speech, I Say We Replace The Current Court With Some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George Washingtons, A Couple Of Susan B. Anthony's, Roosevelts, Hamiltons, A Sacajawea Or Two, And An Abe Lincoln To Cover Scalia In Full.

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

I Can Tell By Your Eye Shadow, You're From Brooklyn, Right? . . . Me Too. My Mother Has Plastic Covers On All The Furniture. Even The Poodle. Looked Like A Barking Hassock Walking Down The Street.