I Can't Get Married. I Can't Fake

San Francisco Is Really Fun And Liberal, And It's My Kind Of Politics. It's Like Being Jewish In Front Of Jewish People.

While Editors And Newspaper Owners Currently Fret Over Shrinking Readership And Lost Profits, They Do The One Thing That Insures Cutting Their Own Throats; They Keep Reducing Space For The One Feature That Attracts New Young Readers In The First Place; The Comic Strips.

I Am Thankful I Was Born In America, Although If I Gain Any More Weight The Burqa Thing May Start To Seem Like A Good Idea To Me. See? Another Plus About America, You Can Always Find Some Food.

Men In Power Always Seem To Get Involved In Sex Scandals, But Women Don't Even Have A Word For 'male Bimbo.' Except Maybe 'senator.

Pigs Are Smarter Than Dogs, And Both Are Smarter Than Congress.