I Buy Smoked Mackerel In A Vain

I Often Tell Audiences At The Start Of My Shows That I'm Not Gay Because I've Got Petitions From Lesbian Groups Saying 'can You Tell People You're Heterosexual Because You're Giving Us A Bad Name.'

I Had Always Fancied A Go At The Comedy And When It Started To Go Reasonably Well And The Opportunity Arose For Me To Move Into It Full Time, I Just Couldn't Turn It Down. I Just Took The Risk, And I Just Wanted To See If It Would Work And Thankfully It Did.

Christians Have Always Been Fodder For Comedians Who Have Tended To Portray Them As Anoraks - Slightly Clammy, Beatifically Smiley Dullards With Barely A Personality Between Them.

Inside Every Fat Person There's A Thin Person Looking To Get Out - They've Just Eaten Them.

There's Something People Do To You When They Bully You That Makes You Feel Like You're On Your Own. But Don't Keep Things Inside, It's Really Damaging If You Do.