I Burned Sixty Calories. That Should Take

Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before.

Someday I Want To Be Rich. Some People Get So Rich They Lose All Respect For Humanity. That's How Rich I Want To Be.

Men Who Can Eat Anything They Want And Not Gain Weight Should Do It Out Of Sight Of The Women They're Married To.

My Husband Gave Me A Necklace. It's Fake. I Requested Fake. Maybe I'm Paranoid, But In This Day And Age, I Don't Want Something Around My Neck That's Worth More Than My Head.

I Was A Ballerina. I Had To Quit After I Injured A Groin Muscle. It Wasn't Mine.