I Bought A Clock, But The Big

I Was In My Friends Garage, And He Had; A Kite, A Yo-yo, And A Boomerang. I Was Like "dude, You Have Abandonment Issues"

A Rubik's Cube Is Equal To A Drag Queen. It's Really Colorful, But I Don't Wanna Do It.

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.

I Used To Play Sports. Then I Realized You Can Buy Trophies. Now I Am Good At Everything.

To Make A Squirrel Look Less Uptight, Put Tiny Sunglasses On It.