I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten

A Jump Lead Walks Into A Bar. The Barman Says "i'll Serve You, But Don't Start Anything."

So I Went To The Doctor's Yesterday. He Said, "what Appears To Be The Problem?" I Said, "i Keep Having This Dream, Night After Night, Beautiful Girls Rushing Towards Me And I Keep Pushing Them Away." He Said, "how Can I Help?" I Said: "break My Arms."

Now You Know Those Trick Candles That You Blow Out And A Couple Of Seconds Later They Come Alight Again, Well The Other Day There Was A Fire At The Factory That Makes Them.

I'm On A Whisky Diet. I've Lost 3 Days Already.

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"