I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

I Had A Meal Last Night. I Ordered Everything In French, Surprised Everybody. It Was A Chinese Restaurant. I Said To This Chinese Waiter, 'look, This Chicken I Got Here Is Cold.' He Said, 'it Should Be, It's Been Dead Two Weeks.'

A Man Came Round In Hospital After A Serious Accident. He Shouted, "doctor, Doctor, I Can't Feel My Legs!" The Doctor Replied, "i Know You Can't, I Had To Amputate Your Arms"

Man Went Into A Bar, He Only Had One Arm. Guy Sitting Next To Him Said 'hey, You've Got Your Sleeve In My Drink', Man Replied, 'there's No Arm In It'

Last Night I Dreamt I Ate A Ten Pound Marshmallow. When I Woke Up The Pillow Was Gone.