I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten

A Friend Of Mine Drowned In A Bowl Of Muesli. A Strong Currant Pulled Him In.

A Blind Bloke Walks Into A Shop With A Guide Dog. He Picks The Dog Up And Starts Swinging It Around His Head. Alarmed, A Shop Assistant Calls Out: 'can I Help, Sir?' 'no Thanks,' Says The Blind Bloke. 'just Looking.'

Our Ice Cream Man Was Found Lying On The Floor Of His Van Covered With Hundreds And Thousands. Police Say That He Topped Himself.

A Woman Tells Her Doctor, 'i've Got A Bad Back.' The Doctor Says, 'it's Old Age.' The Woman Says, 'i Want A Second Opinion.' The Doctor Says: 'okay - You're Ugly As Well.'

It's Strange, Isn't It. You Stand In The Middle Of A Library And Go Aaaaagghhhh' And Everyone Just Stares At You. But You Do The Same Thing On An Aeroplane, And Everyone Joins In.