I Asked God For A Bike, But

Probably The Worst Time In A Person's Life Is When They Have To Kill A Family Member Because They Are The Devil. But Otherwise It's Been A Pretty Good Day.

Recently, I've Ventured Into The Mammal Family - So That's Good For My Sex Life.

Race Is Still Somewhat Of A Taboo In Comedy. But If You're A Minority, Then You Can Make Fun Of Your Own Minority. And That's A Nice Service That Many Of Them Provide.

I Thought I Was Raptured Up Into The Air Today; Turns Out, It Was Just My Gas Oven Exploding.

I Love My Family. I Came Home The Other Days. My Brother's Passed-out On The Couch, Holding An Empty Bottle Of Sleeping Pills. So I Called The Paramedics, And They Pumped His Stomach, And I Think He's Learned His Lesson: You Know, Never To Take My Last Two Sleeping Pills.