I Asked God For A Bike, But

You Don't Appreciate A Lot Of Stuff In School Until You Get Older. Little Things Like Being Spanked Every Day By A Middle-aged Woman: Stuff You Pay Good Money For In Later Life.

Always Remember The Last Words Of My Grandfather, Who Said: 'a Truck!'

I've Learned That You Can't Make Someone Love You. All You Can Do Is Stalk Them And Hope They'll Panic And Give In.

My Dad Always Said, If Someone Hands You A Lemon, Make Lemonade. Plus That Also Works Wonderfully As A Metaphor.

Don't Wear Fur! Did You Know, A Single Fur Coat Takes Fifteen Trees, Just For The Protest Signs?